


day 322

by misschevalier



Series: so many days [3]
Category: Funhaus RPF, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Character Death, Lawrence centric, Multi, The Last of Us AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 17:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4358120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misschevalier/pseuds/misschevalier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 17.<br/>I know we are lucky that we are still together.<br/>Hope that stays the same way.</p>
<p>Day 322.<br/>I hope they are lucky to be together, alive and safe and-<br/>I miss them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	day 322

**Author's Note:**

> I guess it's a rule to myself that I have to write an Last Of Us AU in every fandom I enter to, so here's the Funhaus version. Also, quite silly because none of the guys really liked this game, so yey. This fic is tangled in the same universe as [day 452](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2226849) and [2080](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2598590), but it's an stand alone.
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING:** suicide mention, blood and death.
> 
> Enjoy it! ♥

Day 17.

I know we are lucky that we are still together.

Hope that stays the same way.

+

Day 23.

I’m not sure where to start or what to say or what to write; yet, here I am.

Sitting at a kitchen table that never belonged to me or us, in an apartment that we have never seen and, once we leave, we will never see again. It’s quite sad but neither of us care, we have been thought things that made us tougher, things we never thought we would do in this lifetime.

We have been here for a week.

It’s a nice place and it’s in good conditions.

I can’t sleep and Adam, who’s keeping the watch, keeps telling me to go back with the guys.

Maybe I should.

+

Day 29.

Bruce and James went out to get supplies, maybe to get some ammo or food or ration cards.

Tomorrow night we are moving out and leaving Los Angeles.

There had been rumors about cannibals around the city and it’s way too dangerous to be here, sitting still. Joel talked about searching in the mountains, maybe, for a nice place where we can start something new and I do want to believe him but, yeah, sure there are a lot of safe, empty and cozy homes up there.

He seems excited and I don’t want to upset him.

Night had fallen and they haven’t come back.

+

 Day 30.

No signals of Bruce and James.

Adam wants to go to search for them but Sean keeps insisting that he can’t leave, he _cannot_.

He left went dawn hit. Now it’s only Matt, Spoole, Joel and I.

+

Day 31.

Adam came back with a very bruise James on his back.

Bruce was carrying a crate and their bags, complaining how he would have preferred to carry James and making them laugh. Joel didn’t laugh back and just looked at them with an upset expression.

I can’t blame him.

James didn’t have mayor injuries but he indeed needed help to move around, even when he said that he was a-okay. Spoole hang around him, trying to make him feel better. They fell asleep together, it was a lovely sight.

Matt and Adam went outside to talk but we knew that Matt was probably either kissing Adam roughly against the hall wall or telling him how stupid he had been, that he didn’t want to lose any one of them because he had lost _enough_ and probably punch him in the arm once or twice. When they came back, we realized it had been both.

Bruce told me that we needed to postpone our leaving and I was okay with it; Joel, not so much.

+

Day 53.

I forget to write on this thing.

I don’t really know why I do it but I do it; I guess it’s my way to keep my brain working.

+

Day 64.

We finally started moving out of the city.

We left the apartment days ago, after we believe James was fine enough to walk for himself and not slowing them down (and yes, that sounds awful but in this city, everything could happen and losing James for being behind it’s something no one wants).

The can food that Bruce found days ago has been packed in our bags along with the first aid kit on Joel’s and Adam’s bag and the ammo is all in Matt’s (my argument was that he was responsible enough to take care of that shit and everyone agreed).

With guns on our hands and sunrise at our backs, we started walking towards the outskirts of Los Angeles, trying to be careful about Fireflies and soldiers and people and- well, probably anyone we could find is dangerous and sometimes even with seven guns is not enough.

We’re staying in some old motel room that has a door.

I’m keeping the watch tonight and I know won’t be able to fall asleep when Bruce comes in to replace me. Tonight is one of those long nights.

+

Day 69.

~~haha, sixty nine.~~

Pretty funny, James.

Stop taking my book.

+

Day 72.

We found infected along the road to the mountains.

I don’t remember running so fast in my life, I thought I was going to throw up my heart because it was beating at an abnormal speed rate and that didn’t feel good. Matt and Adam wasted some of their Molotovs at them, to burn them real good and trying to escape as fast as we could.

We stopped for a moment, since Sean asked us to.

He hasn’t been sleeping alright and he’s more tired than ever.

I feel bad for him.

+

Day 76.

James and Bruce started walking behind Adam at some point in our journey, talking aloud about some random character that they come up in their heads and somehow, it feel just as when we were still at ~~Inside Gaming~~ Funhaus, them sitting behind while Adam lead the way.

We laughed along, sometimes Joel coming over them and adding something to the pile.

I love those moments when, if I close my eyes and just listen, I could imagine everything’s alright and that nothing wrong happened in this fucking world and that we are just seven men walking up the mountain to have some fun.

I know that’s far away from the truth but I like to lie to myself sometimes.

It’s the only way to keep oneself sane.

+

Day 80.

Sean’s sleeping in my shoulder as I write this.

We found some bones (I know they are human, I know it) and we had to move away as quickly from that place. We had been walking since then and, even when all our body ached and such, we had to move, we couldn’t lower our speed.

Joel and James are sleeping at our sides (James’ back is against my leg and Joel is sleeping with his face pressed against Sean’s thighs). Adam and Bruce are awake but Matt is sleeping between Bruce’s legs, snoring softly.

The three of us are awake because we are afraid of someone coming over- we didn’t even light up a fire because of the fear. The only source of light is the moon and the occasional lighter that Bruce loves playing with.

When Joel wakes up, I’ll probably lie on his space.

I’m so tired.

+

Day 82.

It’s so funny seeing Joel upset because Bruce was littering.

Even when the goddamn world is falling apart, he keeps complaining about that.

Adam and Sean had to sit down because he was laughing so hard.

+

Day 86.

I like to remember the days were we lived together, in our house.

Mornings waking up with Sean around my arms and myself around Bruce’s arms, because James probably got up early to go out for a run and Bruce didn’t like sleeping without someone on his arms; Matt was probably lying in the edge, alone, because he loves having a moment for himself in the morning. If I return to my senses, I’ll probably hear Joel’s soft voice in the bathroom and the shower running because he loves singing in the shower and neither of us can complain; his voice is actually very sweet to hear.

Adam is a very light sleeper and he probably woke up with James alarm.

I always feel sorry for him.

If any of us are having an awful night, for any reason, he would always be the first one to be on the other side of the bed, hand on his boyfriend’s back or arms around the person, muttering sweet things, asking if he can do anything to make them feel better.

I still remember the night were Matt woke up short of breath, sitting in the bed wheezing and shaking because of a fever. When I woke up, Adam was already kneeling in front of him, a heavy worried expression on his face- after that, everything was a blur. Bruce and James got Matt into the car, Joel was hovering around, opening doors, keeping an eye on him while the others got dressed because it didn’t matter how much Adam insisted that him and me could take Matt to the hospital, they didn’t care because they would be worried sick all night, unable to sleep.

Matt had developed pneumonia and, that night, it seemed like it got worse than it actually was, and that was, probably, the longest night in our lives.

Well, until the infection started and the world became garbage.

Now every night was longer than the night before.

…

+

Day 90.

Joel’s clock stopped working.

It was our only way to know the time and the date.

It was 9:41 am on June 30th when it happened.

+

Day 93.

We’re still working our way up to the mountains.

We walked through trees and dirt roads and the pavement roads to get to where we are today.

I was napping when I heard mumbling coming from the woods.

I didn’t get up because Sean was sleeping beside me but I’m pretty sure it was James and Matt’s voices.

Never asked what they were talking about but neither of them was laughing.

+

Day 105.

It’s been days since I last wrote but many things happened.

In our way we found a group of people. Before we could say anything to them, tell them that we were just going in our own merry way and we didn’t have any intention to bother them, they shoot Bruce. I’m pretty sure all our hearts stopped when we heard the gun went off and Bruce falling to the floor.

Matt and Sean had their guns up, Joel was running next to Bruce and Adam was screaming to everyone to stop, that our intentions weren’t bad and that we just wanted to leave, to go. James was beside me, standing still, watching how everything happened in front of our eyes.

(I think both of us were more scared of Bruce’s life than anything else.)

The leader of the group –that motherfucking asshole, son of a bitch that shot Bruce– let us leave with the condition to give him all of our guns and well, we had to.

That night we found a small cabin in the woods: it didn’t have part of the roof, it seemed like it was going to fall down at your steps but it did have walls and it could protect us from the wind and rain if necessary- but who thinks of that, living in California.

I watched how Matt and Adam held Bruce, who hiding his face on Adam’s neck, a rag on his mouth because he was screaming his lungs out, breathing harshly because Joel was doing his best to get the bullet out of him and sew him back up, trying to patch everything so he wouldn’t get an infection- that is the last we need. 

When everything finished, Bruce just slumped as if he was dead weight on Adam’s arms, breathing harshly and sweating because, holy shit, bullets hurt. He mumbled something like _next time I’m going to need alcohol before you patch me because ouch_ and Matt smiled and held his hand, of course being thankful that he was fine.

Outside I found James and Sean, sitting together, looking around at the valley.

I noticed that Joel’s hands were red from the blood; James’ were white because he had his into fist, angrily.

+

Day 107.

We had to stay in the cabin because of Bruce, he just couldn’t go out with a bloody wound, walking around as if nothing ever happened. Joel almost punched him when he was being stubborn and telling everyone that he was fine.

Adam, James, Sean disappeared last night when Bruce and Joel were sleeping. Matt and I saw them go, noticing James taking out a pistol from his bag, saying that he had that from emergency situations- this was one because they didn’t have anything else to defend themselves if anything happened.

They didn’t return tonight and Joel is now upset because we’re reckless and he doesn’t believe us when we say sorry.

+

Day 108.

The moon on the top of my head when I heard footsteps coming over the hill.

The trees didn’t let me see until the light hit them and everything I could see was blood- their shirts, their pants and even their skin was stained with blood, but what really put me to ease was that they were smiling and they had guns in their hands.

Our guns.

They felt as we won a battle but I felt bad because, aren’t we the bad guys now?

+

Day 110.

Bruce developed an infection.

We’re scared.

+

Day 112.

How. Why.

+

Day 124.

When we thought we were going to lose one, we lost other.

Sean, god fucking dammit, ~~he~~ when he started to cough, we knew that was it.

We wanted to think that it was just a flu or who the fucking knows, anything else but _this_.

When Matt saw the rash appearing on his skin, he knew what was happening. Adam and him got into a fight because _no! Spoole hasn’t gone in contact with an infected, are you going mad?!_ But when Matt almost screamed _spores_ at him, everything stopped.

We told Sean what was happening to him and he panicked, saying that it was a mistake, he wasn’t feeling bad (but he was coughing between sentences, his hands going to his rash around his chest and neck and oh god, he was going to die.) I saw the tears dropping and heard the awful sobs he let out and the _I don’t want to leave you, I don’t want to die, I’m scared_ echoes around the cabin. The next day the redness of his rash was long gone, only to become a shade of yellowish green that didn’t settle well in anyone and only seemed to scare Sean more.

James was the one who told Bruce, he didn’t take it well in his fever state.

We huddled up together, Sean between arms and everyone holding him tightly. Joel injected something in him, some medicine, and he fell asleep in our arms.

He didn’t wake up the next morning and we knew it.

Adam and I made a hole in the ground and James carried ~~him~~ _his body_ in a blanket. I couldn’t watch when they buried him; it felt so wrong, so bad. We were burying our youngest boyfriend, as if that was normal.

I found Matt crying silently while keeping an eye on a sleeping and less ill Bruce.

I wasn’t sure what to feel or how what we were going to do next.

We were seven but being six hurt more than supposed.

+

Day 125.

Bruce seems lucid and better than he was days ago.

I’m not sure if this is good news.

+

Day 126.

We left; we left the cabin behind and _him_.

His cap is now hanging from Adam’s bag, as a reminder that maybe he’s still with us.

There’s still a bad taste in the back of the mouth and neither of us dare to say anything along the way.

+

Day 129.

I’m tired.

I found Joel seeking for Sean on his side when he was asleep.

He just curled in himself, frown on his face.

+

Day 135.

I’m tired.

Really, really tired.

I think we all are.

+

Day 137.

I had a nightmare the other night. I dreamed that I woke up and no one else was around, that they left me.

Everyone knows I was the most scared to enter to the relationship, thinking that maybe they would find me annoying or they would get tired of my ramblings or just tired of me; thinking about it made my heart heavy and my chest feel oppressed.

It’s not the first time I dreamt that and I know it won’t be the last. Sometimes it wasn’t dreams like this but just sitting down and seeing them ignore him, slowly or noticing how they worked perfectly without him and he would leave and they won’t notice.

I jumped when I felt something move on my side but I remembered that Adam’s watch finished minutes ago and James was taking over. Adam, tired look on his face, observed me and I felt his cold hand on my chest, his nose pressing on my cheek. “I love you,” he mumbled. “We love you.”

He fell asleep and soon joined him, feeling his warm words crawling into my veins.

+

Day 138.

There are many times when I think about how useless I am.

There are times when I think I should disappear and never come back.

There are times when James smiles at me as if I was the most important thing in the earth, when Bruce jokes around with me, when Joel holds my hand to keep me going, when Matt just sits down in silences next to me or when Adam just talks to me in hushed tones.

There are many times when I feel useful.

+

Day 140.

We had to make our way back to the city.

We don’t want to be in the woods anymore.

+

Day 142.

Hi Larr, this is Matt writing.

You are sleeping and I wanted to write something nice on this notebook that you’re always carrying around. I haven’t read any of the other pages, in case you’re wondering: it’s your notebook and I don’t feel like I should intrude on it without your permission.

Thanks for letting me sleep with you more than once; I know you’re probably getting tired of my snores. Thanks for keeping us, in some way or another, sane and safe and loved, however you want to call it. Thanks for always trying to make up conversation, sharing your opinion on things that I’m sure went away when the infection started, things that don’t matter anymore.

We love you.

Ps. James is drooling over you, sorry about that.

+

Day 143.

He’s such a good person, too good for this world.

+

Day 149.

Adam started talking about how lucky we got in life.

We were curious, we’re always curious when he starts talking since it’s not often. He started talking about how lucky we got to have an amazing job at Machinima all those years; later Inside Gaming, were it felt like something we can call ours and then Funhaus, having the opportunity to be a branch of one of the most amazing internet-base company that they had the pleasure to know.

And then, he started rambling about how lucky he’s that he got us because he cannot imagine anywhere else or with anyone else and, well, all of us noticed how he choked when mentioning Sean’s name. Joel and Bruce were the first ones to pull him into a hug, muttering how it wasn’t his fault and mumbling how much they, we love him.

It was nobodies’ fault.

+

Day 155.

When we got to the city, few days ago, we were welcomed by infected.

The soldiers and the fireflies do a great job of keeping them out of the city, which was probably the worst that could happen to us. We had to run, knifes in our hands because it was way too dangerous to use guns because anyone can hear them (that includes people and infected).

Is still fresh in my memory how we had to walk, gas mask in our faces, under the city’s subway.

We realized that there wasn’t an easy way into the city and we took a decision, the six of us.

We’re leaving California.

At what cost? We don’t know.

+

Day 156.

We walked until our feet gave up.

We are really tired.

_I_ am really tired.

+

Day 158.

I found Joel doing the watch when I woke up.

He was looking the dawn through the trees and somehow, I never thought he would look so pretty just observing. I got up and walked towards him, pulling him into a kiss.

He just laughed and that made my heart warm.

+

Day 163.

James had a panic attack the other day.

I had never experienced one myself neither saw someone have one.

Bruce was the first one to notice it but it was Adam who sat him down, gave him water and tried to make James’s breathing become normal. We just stood there, watching, not wanting to fuck anything up but unable to stay still.

When Matt asked him if he was fine, James cried.

The guys hugged him and it was quite of an unusual sight: James, the bulky, blond guy that could easily be a wrestler, was crying, his face hidden on Matt’s hoodie ( _or that was Sean’s?)_ and Joel was sitting on the other side, holding his hand and caressing his hair. Bruce and Adam were kneeling in front of them, hands in whoever was in front of them.

That night, I held James tightly and usually he hates it but, this time, he just hid his face on my chest.

It was a tranquil night.

Not even Matt snored.

+

Day 164.

Today we laughed so hard.

I think we’re losing our minds but, you know?

I wouldn’t ask for a better group to be with.

I love them to death.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Day 314.

It’s been 130 days since I last saw them.

If my count is correct, from the day that Joel’s clock stopped working… today’s is our anniversary.

First time I’m away from them in our anniversary; it’s strange.

+

Day 315.

I re-read what Matt wrote in this book months ago.

I miss them horribly.

+

Day 316.

Fireflies are the ones who kept me here, in a small room with a small window. They bring me food and water and I don’t want to touch it because I know, I _fucking_ know what they are trying to do.

I’m just glad that it’s only me and not the boys.

Sometimes I think about Sean and if I’ll see him sooner than later.

+

Day 322.

I hope they are lucky to be together, alive and safe and-

I miss them.

**Author's Note:**

> [the tumbling](somespontaneouswriting.tumblr.com) ♡


End file.
